Hi,

I'm experiencing an extremely stressful event in my life and it's affecting my bipolar disorder (type 1, rapid cycling, psychotic features). (I am disabled and receive SSDI). Mixed episode is my predominant mood state and insomnia is an ongoing issue for me. I also have OCD, Social anxiety, Panic disorder, C-PTSD, and GAD. It stinks!

In 2009, I had two extremely stressful life events that lasted for several months. I had a severe mixed episode with psychosis and was hospitalized for 5 months.

In 2006., I am had an extremely stressful life event that made me extremely anxious and I had a psychotic mixed episode for seven months. At this time, I was misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, given SSRI's, and reacted poorly to the medication. It made me worse. (I should have been hospitalized but I was extremely paranoid in a delusional sense and trusted no one. I kept quiet, in a terrified way.)

I have had many other episodes, including severe depression - but the above are examples of how bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders affect me. I don't do well with stress.

Therefore, I exhibit a pattern of having extreme episodes (typically manic or mixed) that are triggered by extreme, ongoing stress for months. I have become aware of this pattern yet have been unable so far to mitigate a "breakdown" that requires IP.

I just got out of psych IP because the stress of my current life event got to me. I became floridly manic that turned very "dark" and did not sleep for four days. I was medication compliant - but the episode still happened. I reached out to my psychiatrist (and therapist) and he admitted me (voluntary) to IP, thinking the hospital could stabilize me before he could.

My IP stay did stabilize me, but the IP psychiatrist didn't understand the episode was caused by stress. She said I was "overmedicated" and took away two meds (no titration) and significantly reduced every med except my antipsychotic. This was not helpful, I'm home yet feeling very fragile. I'm laughing and crying everyday, throughout the day. My anxiety is very high.

I contracted a severe bacterial stress infection during my IP stay and I cannot remember the last time I've been so physically ill. Between psych med withdrawals and the infection (which I just finished a strong course of antibiotics but I'm still recovering and weak/coughing), I returned home in a bad state.

I've returned to my home environment and my extremely stressful event still exists. The stress will get worse as the circumstances get worse, it's a fact. I'm very disappointed with myself that I ended up IP at this stage - my goal was to avoid IP (I got a therapist and see her weekly as soon as this stress life event arose) altogether. If I needed IP, I expected it MUCH later in the game, if you will.

My extremely stressful life event will remain and intensify over the next year, I estimate. It is not something I can extricate myself from. It is something I will have to deal with and I am worried.

Current status: I have seen my therapist post-IP and will continue weekly. I see my psychiatrist today, whom I like, but I'm so worried about my med changes from IP. I have OCD and my med for OCD was taken away...the ruminating thoughts are severe. My anxiety is becoming severe. Panic attacks and C-PTSD have returned. I'm nearly agoraphobic. Etc.

My question: Are any of you very affected by stress? How do you cope? I am doing everything I can think of, including self-care. My self-care becomes pushed away during extreme stress, that's my problem. I'm caring for someone in declining health and I tend to disregard self-care (not on purpose, but at least I know now).

Thanks for reading. If anyone has any tips on what really, really helps with stress - please reply. I'm creating a self-care "toolkit" and I need everything in my arsenal, so to speak. I cannot take a break from my environment and I must stay well enough to stay out of IP. I can get through this, I am strong as a person. But I'm fragile right now, improperly medicated, and ruminating and cycling again.