(((((((((((((( dec )))))))))))))))
You know in your gut what you need to do to keep yourself safe my friend. Please take this time to do just that and go to the hospital. You are right, your family would rather you be alive and getting help than the other option.
*Gentle Hugs* to you....please know you are cared about very much.
You and your family are in my prayers.

sabby