I am glad I am able to get my thoughts out here. It helps to dump it out and to see what i wrote later. i tried keeping a journal but i am paranoid about writing things down where they might be found. Still depressed, everything is very quite inside. maybe we are all just exhausted. Something Amanda told me roams around in my mind. She said often once a part see and accepts that their job can be done by another they integrate. (paraphrasing) I do want to meet my original. I know she is still here.