Good morning all,

I'm going through a very tough time and until a physical therapist can be seen I would like some advice from this community.

My fiance who I've been with for 3+ years ended our relationship. He and I suffer from what we believe is depression. His episodes usually consist of crying, talking about dying and binging on unhealthy food. He's also type2 diabetic. His outlet however is writing.
My episodes consist of me crying, being emotionless and pushing him away. We both have not had constant therapy in the years we've been together. We've basically been self helping ourselves the "best" we can.
My episodes have drained him. I don't handle depression well. It isn't easy for me to be creative when depression hits.
I was also raped by my ex boyfriend which often times gives me triggers depending on the situation. Sometimes there are certain harmless things my fiance would do that would make me think of my attack.
There was even a time when I was so crippled by depression that I stopped working for 4 months. He had to take care of both of us. He said he was able to handle it but kept a lot of feelings from me to protect my feelings.
So my lashing out by telling him to stop caring about me, complacency about life, struggling financially, as well as him feeling like he put himself last has made him end our relationship.
I am devastated. My depression is spiraling out of control. My anxiety flares. I cry uncontrollably.
He also says that he doesn't think he is in love with me anymore which only does more damage. He said he is open to couple's therapy but now a days his communication is lacking. He now speaks to me like I'm one of his friends as though we weren't in love and living together and everything each other wanted, basically being together everyday we could for the past 3 years.
He wants to focus on his self care and wants me to focus on mine and being independent but all of this is making it so hard to focus. I stare at my engagement ring everyday, I check up on him, write him, send him therapy info, to which he's very short with me.
I say all of this to ask, how can I help my mental illness when my partner just left me? We're in limbo right now and even though he says he's open to us getting therapy to work on it, his lack of communication feels otherwise. I'm not sure how to not think about our failing relationship enough to only focus on my recovery.