Hello Everyone.

First, I'd like to say ,"thank you" to all who have been so nice to me during this horrible time. I really appreciate all of your kind words.

Unfortunately, my husband told me Tuesday night that he is filing for divorce. Basically he emailed me and asked me when a good time to talk would be. I sent him a text message asking him what he wanted to talk about and he replied by saying, 'about our situation and where I'm going with it'. I called him immediately and he said, 'I'm filing for divorce'. He would not give me an explanation. He would not go into detail about his feelings. I got nothing from him. He was at his second job and was waiting for one of his guitar students to show up so he said he couldn't talk. He just cut me off and hung up on me.

Later that night I drove to our house where he is living. He barely opened the door and said, 'what do you want'? He said, 'you've got 5 minutes and then you need to get out'. He was very mean and cold hearted. He wanted nothing to do with me. He laughed at me when I cried and told him how much I love him and want our marriage to work. He would not let me hug him. He would not talk to me. He only told me to get out and that we were through. I was devastated.

I mentioned the fact that I think he is manic and depressed and he got mad and gave his usual response, "I've never felt better".

I feel horrible. My husband spent 3 months begging me to take him back after his affair. He was obsessed with me and as soon as I call off our divorce and recommitt myself to him he backs off and no longer wants me. My therapist says because he is bi-polar I cannot trust anything he says or does. My T says I should not believe anything until we are standing in front of a judge and signing the divorce papers. I don't know what to think. I love my husband so much and I want to be with him. I know I must be crazy for still wanting a life with him because of the hell he has put me through but we do have a spiritual connection that cannot be denied.

At this point I don't know what is going to happen. I called my attorney and told him the divorce is back on. I won't be contacting my husband anymore. I don't expect him to contact me. I assume I will see him when it is time to get together with our attorneys. I am supposed to go to a concert with him and his mother and a couple friends on December 9th, but obviously thats not going to happen now. I am so sad and overwhelmed. I miss my husband and my family. I cannot believe he has done this to me again.