Oh Tisha. I am so sorry.
Families are hard.
But but but..... they don't have to be toxic. It's extremely disorienting when people who in our inmost hearts we believe should be nurturing and accepting and validating, just--- AREN'T. That's the slot our parents (and other relatives) are meant to occupy in our lives, and somehow your parents just cannot, and will not.

They sound dreadfully demanding. imho of course.

Ask yourself a couple things: How will further contact at this point, help you? Help them? Ease the bad feelings & upset in your life?

Nobody wants to be seen as "The Problem". In my not-all-that-darn-humble opinion, your parents -- Mom especially -- is turning their bad situation into an Offensive position bc that's 'the best defense" in the minds of many folk.

ACK I am saying all this very badly, sorry. But anyway:

You have not "Connived" at making them destitute. Sometimes we gotta give people the whole gift of their own consequences. painful.

Strength to you, my friend.

xo,

Chyia, smh @ your parents' expectations bc wth??