There's no law that says you have to take care of toxic parents. And this idea that you have to care for abusive, toxic parents is ********. Don't let others guilt trip you into feeling like you have to have a relationship with them. If they wanted you to care for them in their old age, they should have treated you better. Period. They can't expect to abuse you and still get the benefit of your caring when they become financially destitute.

It's one thing to care for parents who were good parents and who cared for you. It's another to say you have to care for parents who abused you and made your life living hell. You don't owe them anything. The idea that you do is completely faulty and only serves to invalidate the abuse that you have suffered at her hands.

If they didn't plan for their retirement years, that is on them. Even if you wanted to, you can only do so much to provide for them, because, as you said, you only have so much capacity yourself: you have kids to provide for, and THEY are your first priority, not your parents.

I didn't ask to be brought into this world. I don't owe my parents ****.

Seesaw