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Originally Posted by Out There
I think this is good insight too - my EMDR T is trained in TA and recommended a book to me in our last session. Both my T's are excellent but I have more transference with my main T , in some sense I see him as a little " magical " because he does the things I haven't experienced ( like owning his part when things go rocky ) which then unravels things from the past that might lead to a " flat " feeling. I do find it really helpful to look at my feelings and others here to help with processing and good T's contribute enormously and your T sounds like a good one !
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Thank you for sharing your experience, Out There. I'm interested in the fact that you say my T sounds like a good one, as I don't feel like I've painted him in a very good light here? I
do think he's a good T (something I have strong opinions on!), even whilst I'm feeling angry with him like I am at the moment. Some of my posts in my other thread are probably more representative of that.
I guess the fact that I feel so able to express my thoughts and feelings to him - even the difficult ones, like the ET and the feeling angry with him, is a testament to our good relationship.
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle
I can sort of relate.
I've never had an erotic transference toward any therapist of mine, but I was very much attached to my first therapist, where I saw her as my "mother"...
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Thanks for sharing your story, blue. I'm really sorry you had such a damaging experience
This is why it's so important that Ts keep their counter-transference in check and remain extremely self-aware... My T doesn't appear to be doing that enough right now...
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle
If any one of my therapists starts encouraging that parent-child sh#t, especially the critical parent sh#t, I am going to call them out on it right then and there. That's not how I play anymore. I am absolutely not going to put myself in the predicament I had before because of how much it hurt. Seriously, it's not healthy for me, nor would it be healthy for anyone. (Not trying to sound like a jackass. lol. But seriously... I will call them out on it right when I see it happening because I don't want it starting up again.) I'll be very blunt about it too.
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Yeah, fair enough! Don't worry, he's gonna get called out
