Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Okay. In my understanding of TA, its YOURSELF that has the 3 states within you. Your t has no dog in this fight. If he is playing the parent to your child, its as if you and he agreed to sit in chairs labeled parent and child, but they are both YOU. He isnt really present as himself. He is manifesting the fight within yourself.
Its "better" to be our adult self and take responsibility for our actions, like going to bed when we should, rather than having parent demanding and child protesting. How or in what area are you yourself stuck in a parent-child role with yourself? What is stopping you from taking appropriate action? Ie what is the roadblock to that action? What fear or feeling is holding you back? Whats the payoff? (My most hated question!)
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Yeah, but my T has
his own parent and child inside him, and what happens is that when one person slips into an ego state, the other person often follows into the 'complimentary' state. So if one person speaks to another from 'parent', they'll often push that person into 'child', and vice-versa. He's not a blank slate, he's a human being, and as such he does 'have a dog in this fight' and he is certainly present as himself.
Transactional analysis is called that because it's all about 'transactions', which are
interactions between people... it's a totally relational theory.
Whilst I'm disagreeing, I hope I'm doing it respectfully, 'cos you know I think you're great and always appreciate your input, right?
I have been doing a lot of discussion about my need to retreat into being a child because of my fear of facing some really hard stuff to face, so your questions are definitely relevant... I don't know that I can fully answer them at this point, though. I'm working on it! My T is a fan of the 'what's the payoff' question, he says 'what are you getting out of this (thought/feeling/behaviour)'... I hate it too!
