Hello, fieldoflillies, and welcome to Psych Central! Are you in therapy? I am thinking the best thing you can do is try to focus on getting better and not think so much about the boyfriend. (Therapists can help with both of these.) Over time, as you get better, you will attract other boyfriends. It is possible, too, that your "former" boyfriend will hear about your success and return. But I think it best not to bank on that. All your efforts to get him back might even convince him you have additional problems, since trying too much is not mentally healthy. (By any chance, do you have borderline issues?)

I know losing a boyfriend is tough. I had one who talked marriage with me break up with me.