I was hesitant at first, I guess because of my past, but he seems to take everything in stride. He even calls me pet names now. We both agreed to do things right and not rush anything. However, I think my pattern for falling hard has happened again. Every day when we don't text, I get this ache in my chest just thinking about him, and when we text it goes all a flutter. Like its ready to burst from my chest.

I am trying my hardest to keep one foot grounded, so I don't fall as hard if it doesn't work out, but it's just feels so easy to let go and let this feeling engulf me completely. Keeping grounded is extremely hard.

My mind has been prone to wandering and indulging in fantasies that leave me aching inside to fulfill, but I keep telling myself to keep focused and totally lose it and rush things along too quickly.

There is this lighter than air feeling I have inside me, and a shred of me is cynical about it and waiting for what it feels is the inevitable let down and crash back to reality. It's just so hard to not be like this. I've been burned too many times to count.

I don't know what to think anymore.