I am having a real bad time right now, we both knew things would be worse before things get better. I am having a tough time with guilt, depression, anxiety, memories, wanting to contact my parents but affraid I will become more upset.

On the way home from therapy the other night I told Tony I was feeling really guilty about being so upset and lethargic all the time. He assured me he understood, not to feel guilty etc.

I really need lots of love right now, I feel insecure about how my family are coping with this, I want to be happy, a proper mum and wife. I've told him what I need.

Tonight he became angry because I told him I dont hear 'I love you' unless I sayit first. He responded by saying He's supported me for the last 5 months since we split for a while, he felt invisible, and he called me stupid for having a go about something that upset me thismorning.

I feel lonely, upset and I don't know what to do. I just dont think he gets it at all. What is the point of throwing all the support back in my face when he knows I am feeling guilty anyway.

I resorted to sending my own husband an e.mail because I cant stand when he gets angry when we try and talk. I've tld him I'll leave if he wants me to.

Jin