The fact is, sometimes when a person has a plan to do it and no intention of trying otherwise, nothing anyone says or does will change the outcome. I lost people too, no matter what I tried, they weren't going to change. I gave it my all and they still did it. To say it hurts is an understatement. We go into fields like that to save people and are trained by personal and other's experiences. All of the training in the world can't teach someone to watch a person die. You could already know this and what I'm saying here doesn't mean a damn thing, but I'll say it anyway. Those people dying, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your failure. It isn't blood on your hands. It is tragic and traumatizing and I'm sorry you had to experience it.

I wish you didn't want to join them. I wish you wanted to keep fighting for another way. I wish you had a job where suicide wasn't the central focus.

I can't be there to keep all dangerous weapons and substances away from you. I can't pull you back over the railing. I can't support you after the chair is kicked.

All I can offer to you is being here, now. It's all I got and it's yours if you'll have it.