I sort of am, but the meds I've taken have had no effect. It's not depression, I've been without any emotions since I was 6, and when I was 15 I discovered what happiness feels like, and I've felt it a small handful of times since. I've been trying very hard to feel anything, and have succeeded a few times. Weed is the only thing that helps, though I only feel either numb or black on it.