I'm in a really bad place right now. My depression and my desire to is at an all time high. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye and I'm hearing people tell me how sorry I am or how I should just

My mom needs me right now and I'm trying to be strong. But, I don't think I can. I keep trying to stay busy with stuff. Trying to take my mind off of it but it is always there. I'm out of it when I'm alone because that is the only way I can deal. I want to check myself into the hospital but it will make it harder on my already bad situation with my dad in the hospital. I don't know what to do.