I go through these periods of not giving a **** and just wanting everything to be over and done with. Let me just quit and crawl into my little hole for the rest of my life. Then I have those good days, like today, where I'm proactive and don't feel so bad. My nephews are spending the weekend at my mom's and I had to drop off the car seat, so I popped in and got some quality time with my boys while she went to the bank. I put one to sleep for a much needed nap, and the other one read an entire book to me. Even though I barely had a clue what the book was really about (something about a dog man that was a policeman?), I felt lucky that he wanted to read the book to me. Eventually the little one woke up from his nap. I let him sit on me for a while as he rubbed his eyes, crawled all over me and eventually decided to crawl around on the floor. It's these little moments that I feel such a privilege to be a part of. Then two days later that warm fuzzy feeling is gone and I'm back to my miserable life that I want to leave badly. I'm just so.....I don't even know....