((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))

Have you come right out and asked him why he is so angry? Have you asked him to explain to you what he is feeling? Sometimes hubbies need to feel they have a voice too (even thought they communicate differently than we women do, they still have feelings and thoughts).

I get the impression that he is finding it hard to find ways of helping you at times. I'm not at all blaming you for this...please don't think thats what I mean. But men are natural "fixers" and when they don't know how to fix something, it becomes frustrating to them and sometimes they lash out or give up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that in all that you are going through right now, you may have to help teach Tony what it is that he could do for you that would help you. I know that hugs and saying first "I love you" are important to you......maybe you could say to him "Tony, would you give me a hug please because I'm feeling *fill in the blank*. This tells him WHY you need the hug so he may be able to see and understand your mood and know that a hug is approrpriate for you at that time. Does that make sense???

I also think that finding times to have heart to heart discussions should be done when both can be calm and not be throwing accusations back and forth. For doing that never solves anything....blaming never solves anything, only makes emotions lash out more.

I know its really hard to find a balance of communication. But it can be done dear jinnyann. You are working so hard on yourself and trying to find some peace....I truly hope that you and Tony can learn ways of helping each other through this really hard time.

Much love and respect to you both!
sabby