Interesting post Mouse.

I have been thinking recently about how I wish I had something nice to say to T, and how I wish I were "better." I recall saying to him a few weeks ago that I was sick of being sick.

In my case some of this feeling stems from a resistance to being dependent on another person and also from this illusion I hold of a desire to be "normal" -- as if there is such a thing.

Now I feel like celebrating every day that I don't have to call T; everyday that I make it to work despite wanting to stay under the covers. The path toward health and independence is crooked indeed, with many turns and bumps in the road.

It's nice that you are ready to take the apple. And no, it isn't a sin. I'm sure T will be happy for you. I think you should make an apple pie and share it with her.

Peace