No one is telling me to try harder but myself. Well, maybe the counselor who calls me once a week. She is CBT oriented and wants me to be more action oriented. Depression is a formidable foe. It knows our weaknesses, our excuses, our vulnerabilities. I now have a sign up on my bathroom mirror. It says: My depression is not me. This is important to remember. It may be a part of me but I am distressed at how it now has taken over my identity. This is very much how I think of myself but not how others see me. Others do not relate to me as a depressive. It is more an internal identity I have developed...and also how I act when alone. Am not as motivated as I once was and dwell on negativity, which is ruining my life! I look back over my life and I see that my depression was never me. I have had wonderful experiences as well as ups and downs, good years and bad years, failures and successes. At times I was depressed but that is not what I remember. What I do remember is when I fought hard to progress and get to a better place. My happiest memories are when I accomplished things despite my life not being the best. I used to have moxie and courage and I want it back. I say FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT to get depression to back off. If this entails working harder...than yes, work harder. I am presently composing a list of all ways I can fight depression. I am certain it will reach at least 200 items. I think if I get to that place I might even make it into a little book I can carry around with me. Sometimes we forget all the things we can do to uplift our mood. Every time we can improve our mood it is a battle won against depression. PS I am not on psych meds and don't intend to be, ever. When I come on Psych Central in crisis and feeling really bad others react by bringing up medication. I have finally decided my intense emotion probably triggers people and so they are not saying take medications in a very light manner, but they are genuinely distressed by my pain. It took me awhile to figure this out. So now I have decided to take a little vacation from Psych Central so as to not burden others while I am punching my way out of the dark box. I really don't want to enter into the medication or no medication debate because it isn't helpful for me. I will continue on the holistic path but I think I will try to make it more hardy and vigorous.