That was a horrible thing for him to say. It was a manipulative thing for him to say (you know this....I'm not telling you stuff you don't know)

The question of whether a spouse looks at what we write...well, I know that I would be careful of what I say. Not out of any fear. Even if I thought I was being open, I think that sub-consciously I would edit...and that would make me dishonest to myself.

To be honest if I was alone I would go for it, too. But (and completely going by what you say here) I think you feel that he could force you over the edge...

Trial separation? By the way I am in the same boat as you as far as independence goes. I don't know what I would do. I do know that I would not stay with someone who abused me.

ETA, I understand about the kids...still going through it myself.