Quote:
Originally Posted by jrr0516
So, I've always had issues in my life where I react (fly off the handle) in anger when I feel like I am being attacked. I have a overwhelming need to defend myself and my actions. I want to explain my reasons for doing something in such extensive details just to make them understand what I meant. I'm so afraid of making mistakes and being wrong.
I just left my job after 12 years because I felt like I was being attacked and forced out the door because I am different from everyone else. I trusted my supervisor and upper administrators enough to confide in them about my depression. As soon as I did, I felt as if they began to use it against me. They began to provoke me then when I would stand up for myself, they wrote me up for being rude and unprofessional. I've always prided myself on my professionalism and now I'm told I am not. I have been utterly shattered by these people. I had to leave to save what little sanity I have left. Now, I need to heal.
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Trust is a very powerful thing, and it sounds like that was broken by some people you thought you could depend on. Shame on them. I had a similar situation and it was devastating. Put that much time and work into a place just to have it yanked out from under your feet when you need it most.
Do you have a therapist? You've identified some good points that could be worth looking into. That's a wonderful thing. First that you see there is a problem, you can identify some traits of the discomfort, so now look at them closely and figure out what can be done to think differently, to make your life easier. What have you tried so far to help with this?