Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur
To put it bluntly: don't worry so much about what your extended family or your uncle or father thinks of you. As one of my favorite writers Dorothy Parker once quipped, "what other people think of me, is none of my business." It's a motto that I've come to adopt and I apply it to everyone I am in contact with. If someone is going to trash talk me -- esp. if that someone is a family member -- then I don't care. Let them trash talk about me with other family members. Does that change what I think of myself? No way. I respect myself. I like who I am. I don't live my life anymore (like I used to), based on what others think about me. I used to care too much about what my family members thought of me, even the ones who were abusive. Now in my late 40s, I couldn't care less. And you shouldn't care either.
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I know that quote, and I try to live by it. I had to remove that family from FB because I couldn't post without feeling like someone was judging me, so I just said, screw this, it's my life, it's my social media, I shouldn't have to feel like a criminal when I post. So I removed them. And I feel a lot better from that.
I really try not to care what they think, and I do positive self talk all the time to reinforce it, but I'm not quite there yet. With other people, I can do it easily, ignore their opinions, etc, but the voice of my inner critic is the voice of my asshole father, so it's really hard to get rid of that one. When I was at a residential treatment facility we did a lot of work on taming that inner critic, but it can be so tough.
How did you get to the point where you stopped caring what they thought? How long did it take to train your brain to ignore them?
Seesaw