I have not talked to my therapist. I see her tomorrow. I'm really kind of (afraid? nervous?) about saying anything to her about it. I really don't want to say anything to my pdoc either. The last time we made a med change, he told me that our next step would be lithium or depakote. I know they are common but I just don't want the weight gain that comes along with them. Anyway, I am also nervous about saying anything because it just sounds so "crazy" when I think about if I was on the receiving end.

I did reach out to a friend. I was really nervous about telling her for fear that it would be the last straw of dealing with me as a crazy friend. She didn't judge. That felt good. She encouraged me to pray about it and to not worry about it so much because "it" obviously could not enter my home ( or it would have already). That made me feel better. I prayed about it again and asked God to make it go away. I don't think its there anymore but I keep checking my back yard to see if I see anything.

I don't think I have ever taken klonopin. When I was hearing stuff a couple of years ago, my doctor increased my risperdal.

I'm kind of going between a few hours of feeling pretty good to a few hours of feeling lethargic, slow thought processes, unclear thinking, and anxious. I attribute that to adderall wearing off. I'm taking an XR but I'm also supposed to take another pill and I'm out. (And no, I wasn't out of it when this all started).