I too know the feeling; It's been a year since the man I loved; my bff of 10 years asked me to move out; I now know it was because I always put myself first (a lot of guilt with this) I have been seeing therapist/psychiatrist and getting my meds in check and I am finally accepting that I need to fix myself before I can think of loving someone new. I still think about the what if's daily...Very hard. Good Luck. Will be here.