My Support Forums - View Single Post

LittleForgetMeNot · Mar 12, 2017, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

Who is this "agency" person who lectures you? Is she an actual social worker with MSW after her name, or some kind of support "worker?" She doesn't sound like a professional. They "usually seize children" living in houses like yours, but they're being nice? "They" are supposed to remove children from a home where they are being abused or neglected. To leave children in circumstances like that would not be "nice." It would be criminal. Nobody can just "take" your kids, if you are being a responsible mother. That doesn't mean perfect either. Are the kids clean, well fed? Why do you fear losing your kids? In what way is this agency saying your kids are in danger?

You can't address your father's hoarding problem. You need to stop living with him. He will, or he won't, come to grips with his problem, but it's not really your business. He may be unable to overcome his compulsion to hoard. How are you able to contribute to the rent? Do you have an income? So, besides Dad and brother, there's another man living in this place. This is truly crazy. You need at least 5 bedrooms to accommodate all these people. Is this a house, or an apartment? If your father doesn't own this place, I'm amazed a landlord would allow 7 people to live there. This would drive anyone to the brink of insanity, if not over the edge.

A normal life, like you've always wanted, requires you to lay some basic groundwork. First step is to not be dependent on your father for the roof over your head. You've been avoiding being alone all your life. Ironically, you feel very alone. Depending upon how old your children are, you may need to find employment for yourself.

You have a lot of catching up to do, but you are still young. Take things one step at a time.

She's actually a children's aid worker. So I assume what she says is accurate unless she's just giving me empty threats. She says her 'supervisor' is on her back about this. My house isn't terrible, which is why I'm shocked. There are boxes of dishes and we do have a ton of children's toys and books, but yes the children are cared for, well fed and clearly loved. We live in a townhome.

I haven't been avoiding being alone.

I have several problems stacked up.

I still need to finish my education, every time I'd bring up moving out with my dad I'd get guilt tripped about how I would be screwing him over and sending him to live on the street. I've been relying on my partner - now ex - to help support us but he wasn't as helpful as he could have been. Though I know he was depressed as hell too. I took a 6 week employment class in may, had a job by mid-june and worked till my break up in at the end of October when obviously I couldn't work without someone to watch my kids.

Since the break up, November was spent in a downward spiral with two suicide attempts. December was the month I started anti-depressants and focused on personal recovery. January I spent preparing for school, but in February I became ill for two weeks and once you miss that much of school they tell you it's impossible to catch up since they move so quickly to fit it all in less than nine weeks.

And now it's March. I'm speaking to a lawyer, getting daycare subsidy, and trying to start my son's speech therapy. Classes don't start up again until the end of April.

I mean.. I'm really busy. As I said I'm. Doing. My. Best. despite the depression, the anxiety, the illness, and all of everyone elses **** too. Some days I'm stronger than others. Some days I feel so weak I can hardly function. The process is happening, but it happens so slowly.