Quote:
Originally Posted by jrr0516
So, I've always had issues in my life where I react (fly off the handle) in anger when I feel like I am being attacked. I have a overwhelming need to defend myself and my actions. I want to explain my reasons for doing something in such extensive details just to make them understand what I meant. I'm so afraid of making mistakes and being wrong.
I just left my job after 12 years because I felt like I was being attacked and forced out the door because I am different from everyone else. I trusted my supervisor and upper administrators enough to confide in them about my depression. As soon as I did, I felt as if they began to use it against me. They began to provoke me then when I would stand up for myself, they wrote me up for being rude and unprofessional. I've always prided myself on my professionalism and now I'm told I am not. I have been utterly shattered by these people. I had to leave to save what little sanity I have left. Now, I need to heal.
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I can relate and I'm sorry for what you are going through. I sometimes send mixed messages to my friends because when I'm Ok their mean sense of humor does not bother me, other times however when I feel hurt I react in anger because I feel it hurts.
People can be insensitive and assholes especially if they perceive someone as weak or can't stand up for himself, can't take a joke, has a problem, etc.. Unfortunately, our interactions with people will sooner or later expose some parts of us and its challenging to set firm boundaries or establish distant relationships with co-workers.
Disappointments are part of our lives too. confiding in someone that later is using whatever he thinks about you against you is unfortunate. I don't know what to say but a lot of people are ****ed up. Don't let yourself down, and we can be triggered just like you. You are not alone.