Hi! Welcome to PC. For me I used to hit things and try and fracture bones more than cut. It was a way of trying to regulate my overwhelming emotions and did seem to work but of course came with bruises and fractures...and worried looks. It is not a good way to manage emotions in the end as it does more harm by re-inforcing a bad pattern and not dealing with the core problem.

I too get very bad mixed states and managing the intensity of the emotions that come with it without harming myself is incredibly difficult but I am learning. I have not self-harmed for at least 5 years and I believe this is due to the help from an excellent therapist, medications like Lithium and hard work and research on my part. I still have to deal with periods where I am very suicidal and i find that state the most difficult to manage safely so usually end up in a hospital until I can keep myself safe.

Are you safe? You mentioned hospital and a recent self-harm incident. Do you have family and friends you can lean on for support? A therapist and or psychiatrist? It sounds like you really need support right now. What makes you think you need to go to hospital right now? Please keep reaching out for help. Post here too. Take care