I often hope that this life is just a simulated life (like training you for the real thing), but who am I kidding

this is what i've got, and i messed it up terribly.

even when I had the chance (before MI), to take life seriously, I treated the whole thing like 1 big game
my biggist anxiety is to grow old without anything to show for my life.

and it's happening in front of my eyes

urg