Quote:
Originally Posted by glamslam
I'm glad I helped you. You deserve better.
If you truly think he's a narcissist, I would go "no contact." No drama, block him. Don't look back.
I have read more of your posts, you are familiar with the behaviors of a narcissist perhaps - don't initiate conflict, you're right. It does not go well. They can never be "wrong" so you lose every time. You understand and I'm sorry for what you went through.
I was married to a malignant narcissist for 18 years. It was hell, but I escaped.
I had no idea I had married a narcissist. The gaslighting started up and continued harsh, emotional abuse escalated severely. It was always my fault, etc.
I got wise, got strong, and I divorced him. It was STRESSFUL. He was so furious he was no longer in control of me. I literally left with the shirt on my back, car keys in hand, with a safe destination pre-planned. He is a miserable man inside. I kind of pity him. I should hate him, but it's not worth it. I got therapy instead for me. 
I have no regrets and my self-esteem returned. I've since been deeply in love with a fantastic man that treats me like a queen and loves me unconditionally...been together ten years now. He is faithful to me (as I am to him), we meet each other's needs and are more strongly bonded than ever. He protects me, too. My ex never did, nor defend me.
I hope that did not stray from your topic. If you think he is a narcissist, I want to amend my advice and I think you should fade him now. I apologize for two sets of advice, lol. Better safe than sorry. No contact is the way to go. 
You are worthy of healthy relationships. You sound intelligent and intuitive. Give yourself credit for that and surround yourself with people that respect and truly care for you. xo |
I must say this advice was spot on. And thank you for sharing. Yes, I do know what a narcissist is. I seem to be unable to keep them at bay. Within the last 5 years I went through the worst experience of my life with a narcissist who become emotionally and physically abusive and also who stalked me. I moved to feel safe. But that's why I hate where I live...because I took an apartment in a building that is like a fortress and a prison! I don't talk about the abuse, stalking, threats, damage to property etc. I did an online course on recovering from narcissist abuse. I was also married to a man who was a narcissist but more the altruistic type. Which means he looks spotless from the outside. Very successful. He was emotionally abusive -- such things as invalidating me, demeaning me, and finally divorcing me because I had "too many problems," after a 20 year marriage. He married a younger woman from another country he met online and who he "courted" while we were still legally married. It has not been a clean break.
Now this is really getting into deep water. Yes, Mike is a narcissist. Sigh. I have tried to go "No Contact" with him as I have with family members. But somehow I keep letting them back in. Note I did not say they keep coming back in. I LET THEM BACK IN. Either I think I am not worthy of something better or I do not even believe my world will contain better. Unlike you I never met that lovely man. But maybe because I didn't make a clean break? I think on some level I am afraid of narcissists. My father was a raging narcissist. And when you have children with a narcissist it is really difficult to make a clean break. But you are spot on here.
That's why I don't want to confront Mike. I know his anger. He knows how to push buttons. I just don't want to deal with it. You are right. I will just try to push Mike away for now. I don't want to make a big No Contact deal because is is a bit stressful...but I will just block his emails. That's what I do. You know how narcs are. They go away and circle back.
Obviously I need to become mentally and physically strong. I am weak and a lot of bad stuff is happening because of it.
Thank you again. You are really reading between the lines! As narcissists are emotional vampires I feel like over and over again I get sucked dry. I also just don't believe there will be anything different for me out there. I guess I think the nice people simply do not get attracted to me.