Growing up with mental illness meant I didn't know what was me, and what was effected by warped thinking. When I was fired from my last job a few years ago, while driving home from the unemployment office where I was told I should see a mental health professional before I got another job I thought," I wouldn't have quit that job".

It was my light bulb moment. Suddenly so many things became clear. 2 failed college attempts, 3 marriages.... all the jobs, all the moving... all the crazy stuff....

I make terrible and huge decisions while manic that at the moment feel totally sane, and I agree 100% with them.

Spring time is hard for me, I get very manic.

2 days ago I was certain I needed to divorce someone I am very happy with. I came near to ending a marriage totally out of the blue - from boredom. I am a little bored after a lifetime of instability. Stability is difficult to do day in and day out.

Some decisions I made due to illness, I had to unmake during sanity and vice versa.

I try now to hold off on decisions - having accepted that sometimes I make them at bad times.

It is so hard to be responsible for anything at all. Bad credit, no car, I nearly gave away my house. 2 winters ago I almost moved to Puerto Rico in a day. Ridiculous.

So, for me, just trying to make right choices from day to day is difficult. Even on meds and with Professional Support Staff. Because mania and impulse feels so certain at the time.

Good luck to us all.

Mental Illness Train just keeps chugging, chugging, chugging along......