Hello angellstar: This is something I have struggled with over the years, & still do to some extent. When I'm angry or something has happened that has upset me, I just don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone.

I guess I don't really know what the answer is here for sure. I think all you can do is to try to say that you're unable to talk about whatever the situation is at the moment & ask to be allowed some space in which to gather your thoughts.

Perhaps if this is a situation that reoccurs with a significant other, or family member, you could come up with some kind of a "sign" or "signal" that lets them know that you're unable to talk about whatever is happening at the moment & you need time to collect your thoughts.

Of course the other problem here is the fact that, apparently, what is causing you to not be able to talk has been discussed many times to the point where you feel it just doesn't matter. Not knowing who this is with, or what the circumstances are, it's hard to know what to suggest. Perhaps if you see a counselor or therapist, how to handle this would be something that would be worth talking to them about. Perhaps there is something you could be doing differently that you're not aware of; or perhaps the problem lies with the person you're experiencing this trouble with in which case it may be more a question of establishing & enforcing personal boundaries. I don't know. Anyway... these are my thoughts with regard to your post.