Hello Polex: I'm sorry I don't think I really know the answer to your dilemma. You mentioned you grew up, for the most part without a mother & without a father. So I presume you perhaps have some attachment issues. Perhaps that's what's going on here.

But whatever it is, the answer, to my mind, is to delve into all of this, over a period of time, with the help of a counselor or mental health therapist. Trying to resolve your mental health struggles by trying to go to bed with as many women as you can entice (if this is what you're considering) is not only not going to resolve what you are struggling with; but is likely to just make matters even more complicated over time.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!