I am plagued by childhood trauma some even ongoing and i am an adult. I have frequent nightmares. This is beginning to affect my memory and my motivations to do anything in life. The only motviation i have is to sleep only these nightmares take a huge toll on me. I cant even eat because i think of knives and knives bring up bad memories. I seem to only be able to recall bad memories but cant remember a few vocabulary words and images for school. What can i do to keep moving foward? Ive tried plenty of distraction hobbies and tools but i quickly shut down.

Any advice would be able to help me. I don't want to live like this i want to be able to live without feeling hollow, fearful, and sometimes really depressed. It piles up really fast.