I'm going to therapy soon and my doctor to tell him about the medications that I'm on. I've been wanting to see my therapist for awhile now. For some reason they won't take my insurance where I live now and I have no idea why. So I'm keeping the same doctors and visit where I used to live and visit for the day to see both doctors. They both very helpful and I've done a lot of healing from what I've been through. Sometimes I get really bad and other times I'm actually feel pretty happy. I've always been a rather emotional and sensitive person and PTSD I think heightened it. So I'm starting to think that maybe I should meditate sometimes when I'm overly stressed out or upset. Anytime I'm sad I tend to think very very negative and pessimistic.

I'm also diagnosed with bipolar too and I've known I had it since I was 19 years old when I got hospitalized for the first time. As for my view on the world: yes I think it's very dark and sometimes I think people are very cruel towards one another and it makes me depressed. Anytime I meet a toxic person, I sometimes remind myself that it's nothing I did and that it's not my fault why they're like the way they are.

Very friendly towards people and nice. When people do a nice gesture towards me, I always thank them and do something for them in return because I'm a caring person by nature. Lots of people took advantage of me because I'm really nice and sometimes it's very hard for me to say "No" because I hate coming across as mean. Then when I do speak my mind and people get upset, I feel horrible. I never come across as assertive unless I feel the need is necessarily. It's not my intention to hurt anyone. Not perfect and I know I've made mistakes in my past. Not proud of them either. Thanks for you're replies everyone. I appreciate it a lot. I'm glad that there's people out there who truly understands.

Today I felt a bit depressed today and slept most of the day. I felt lazy and didn't want to get out of bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me.