I'm considering it. I have sexual issues - mostly just this awful feeling of dread before having sex with my husband that never goes away - and I've tried everything I can think of to get over it. My husband is great, and very understanding. I have no complaints about him, so why this awful feeling regarding sex? I know it's because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother and step-father. I don't know exactly how it went down, but it's been apparent to me that she was getting something in return from him for looking the other way when he tried to molest me.

I honestly don't know if I was raped or how far it went. I can't even tell you how many times it happened, or how long it went on. I don't think very long. Lord knows, what I do remember, I sure fought him off enough times.

The last conversation I had with him I was 25 (30 years ago) and he felt the need to inform me that he fantasized about me while he masturbated. I informed him if he ever came near me again, I'd kill him.

Now I want to confront him, but I don't want to sink to his level. I've decided to write him a letter - not expecting anything from him - at all.

Is this a good idea? My T says don't send it, but I did with my mom a decade or so ago, and it's the only thing I've ever done that put a chink in her armor. Otherwise, they say I just make stuff up. Meh.