(((ww))) The irony is they
do feel this is the way to protect that child.
I think it's difficult to find words to say to you at this time, something that will help you. I'm not sure you're at a point to be able to hear yet, I know how much you are hurting.
But you really need to do good self care right now. Fight for your own health, right now. Having a reaction where you don't even take care of yourself when terribly (and I mean terribly) stressed doesn't fair well for anyone.
There is a way to be angry and utilize that anger for good, but instead it appears you are turning on yourself, and that is not good. Control the rage, don't let it control you.
Breathe. Eat. Sleep. And then begin thinking about changes to make in your life to remedy this situation.
