Cy, I have to say that after reading your post I am physically shaking. You wrote the words that I have been unable to find for myself.
I strated to really break about 2 months ago for a reason that is unknown to me. Depression, anxiety, bad childhood memories, dissatisfaction with my current life have suddenly trapped me in some black hole that I'm just swirling untethered in.
I too used everything I had in me to work and have a family life. Now I have called a dr. and was given a week off work to start a med for anxiety and am waiting for a referral to a new psych dr. I have had to tell my boss why I am not at work and needless to say she is not happy. I don't care what anyone says, mental illness is not accepted the way that physical illnesses are. I am scared to death that I will lose my job and everything that it supports.
But what is the right answer? To go on and just hope it passes? Take a chance on losing everything? It's so confusing.