With so much toxicity brewing over such a long period, I think the correct question is "How is this not affecting them?"

Even if he doesn't call you ugly names in front of them, children are intuitive, they know when their parents are miserable and figure out pretty quickly when their parents are making each other miserable.

Me personally?
I wouldn't be raising my daughter in the midst of that.

NB. I'm not passing judgment or speaking on behalf of any other members, just sharing my personal POV.