Please don't be too hard on yourself about gaining weight. It sounds like you have been through far more pain than one should ever have to deal with, and just the fact that you've made it through all of that is so admirable. Just because that man is out of your life does not mean that you should be "all better" now. I've been in a bad relationship as well, and even though I've not seen him for 3 1/2 years, I still struggle with my eating as a coping mechanism. Part of it for me is habit, and another part is just me still trying to deal with my past. I don't know if you said this in your post- are you seeing a T now? If not, I would recommend it as a way to help you figure out how to find a better way of dealing with things. Also, and this may sound silly and unneccessary, but sometimes finding a nutritionist to work with can help as well. The worst thing to do is to try and "stop eating" or "go on a diet", often those methods end in weight stabilization or weight gain, quite the opposite of what they're supposed to do. If you really want to lose weight, I would recommend talking to some sort of a professional-be it a therapist, nutritionist, or even your doctor-I'm sure they will be able to help you find ways to lose weight in a healthy manner.