When I was a toddler, newborn to three, my two year older brother tormented me daily. It went on so much m my Dad got sick of it and quit taking us out to restaurants. All day long this game went on. My brother would torment me and I would cry.

I do not know when Mom started doing this, but when I would go to her crying and try to tell her that my brother was hurting me, more emotionally than physically, she would start laughing. I now know she was emoting but at the time it screwed my brain up. I would cry and then laugh, meekly. Then I would cry again. Then I would laugh meekly again. It really screwed me up bad.

I understand her sick logic now but at the time I was a toddler. She was trying in a sick way to let me know that the abuse was not so terrible. Well if I could have removed my feelings from my loved ones, I probably would not have a dissociative disorder. Toddlers do not know how to do those things!

My whole childhood my brother abused me and my parents never tried to talk to me about that relationship. They never explained to me what was going on. They never told me that my brother was sick. They told me that his abuse was normal. They never told me how to solve the problem!

So I went through my childhood in a mild state of shock and had a mild case of PTSD the whole time. This was brought on by non-stop psychological trauma and emotional pain.

My Mother and Brother destroyed any chance that I would be a normal human by the time I was three.