Quote:
Originally Posted by DadFMF
I appreciate it. I don't think she wouldn't come back to me anytime soon. She seems to have other priorities than to make her marriage work. She just seems nonchalant about everything. We actually talked on the phone for an hour the other day (She called me out of nowhere) but it didn't seem to solve anything. She still isn't giving me the truth about everything. It just made me more upset that after 10 years she just can't be honest about things or atleast say she is sorry. I need to initiate the NO CONTACT with her, but it's hard when you have children involved. It just seem like the only time she wants to talk is if she needs me to watch our kids cause she has to work or so on so forth. It's never about our marriage. She told me that she didn't want to file for divorce but she would do a legal separation if it came down to it. That confused me as to why she would do that but not file for divorce. I know she wouldn't initiate that either though, cause it would have already been done by now if that was the case. I'm getting better day to day though. I think I'm almost at the acceptance stage in this whole fiasco. Can everyone give me tips on how to do the Bo Contact with kids? I don't want her to think that she can run over me, but I'm afraid if I say no to picking up my kids, I'll be viewed as a bad father or that I don't care. We have a schedule but there is legitimate times to where she has work or school(I verified) that she does need help. Plus my kids start up Baseball and it's going to be tough seeing her at games....I know it's easy to say be cordial and act like it doesn't bother you but it does bother me
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I don't know very much about the military - but just thought of something I heard re: the spouse of police officer. That wife is in no hurry to get divorced from husband because of the benefits that come with his job.
Could this be similar? That she may not want to
legally divorce because she could benefit from perks as military wife?
re: kids. Is there someone like a close relative who can take the kids for you? I did same re my sibling who did not want to see her husband. I was the 'hand over lady'
The baseball thing is definitely a lot tricker. I have no ideas re this, Im sorry.
In a similar situation though, I might increase personal space at the game - "widen the circumference."
Maybe, explain to the kids that daddy has already spoken to mommie & this is their time with mommie .. "before we head home"
(as they fritter about excitedly telling her whatever).
If puzzled, let them know you both love them very much and that issues for children and those for adults are a bit different, & when they get older they will understand. And that right now, all they really need to do is focus on learning, school & their extracurricular act. - e.g. baseball. Just 'typing aloud' here.
Use that time to make any outstanding calls .. (??) "You guys talk to mommie while daddy takes care of a few things, when you're done, Im right here .. "
I am happy to hear that the acceptance stage is materializing for you. The shock will wear off bit by bit.