Thank you for the responses.

Her 1st was an alcoholic too & was abusive.
Her 2nd husband was a reformed alcoholic. But he knew she still drank occasionally. Sometimes she'd ask me for a bottle of wine & I didn't flinch giving her one.
In fact the night her husband passed away, in her house after the coroner left she asked me for a bottle bec she said she needed the help in sleeping. She's my neighbor. Again I said sure.

Her 2nd husband knew he was dying & was lucid for a great deal of it. Both myself & my SO told him we'd watch out for her; look after her.
I just don't understand why he'd keep such a secret from us. He had to have known that with his passing she'd turn to alcohol while being alone.

This makes me resentful. I don't have any friends & I considered her a friend, but any so called friends I used to have always used me in some way.
Again I feel used.

The first yr after her 2nd husband's passing I constantly looked in on her, fed her & listened to these same stories & she seemed so very depressed. Neighbors asked me! what I was doing to help her! No one else wanted to help.
So when her daughter knew all this was going on, that her mom was blacking out & falling down from alcohol no one told us or explained anything.

So I treat her differently now. I'm stand off-ish with her. I don't really help her.
I feel I've done enough & I was used by her.