hey- i can relate.
Im not exactly sure what regular happy me feels like, to be honest. I still sometimes question if what my last pdoc called hypomania isn't really just my best self and what my baseline happy mood feels like. I don't think i can always tell the difference at the time.
And I would be lying if i said that when my mood gets a little too high, that i do not completely welcome it. Which isn't what one is supposed to say. But its like I am always comparing how i feel now to that version of me, which probably wasn't even real. So i am sort of ****ed to ever feel totally satisfied.

I suppose real happiness is when your good mood makes sense with whats going on in your life- your mood matches the situation, and that it is a sustainable feeling. and that it doesn't result in you making bad decisions.

But i really dont know anymore.