We're in the same boat. I'm not gay, but I definitely think it is difficult finding a partner to share your life with. I think everything in itself is a test to some degree and maybe we just have to work through whatever to get to a goal - small steps friend; they go a long way
I sometimes think things like: what's the point, etc. There are good people out there. Some will still run us over, treat us like dirt, argue, fight....so on. Don't give up. I know it's not much saying that, but I'm looking for the brightness and happiness that we all deserve. We will get there, I believe it. Much love and good energy to you!! Here's to finding what you want and need, may all of it come your way.