Hahaha I'm not laughing at you I'm just laughing at the first time my T told me I could call him anytime I want and then when I needed to call him I just completely froze and was like, "I can't do this!!!"

I think as much as we hate those %#@&#! boundaries they become comfortable for us-- yeah, we abide by T's boundaries, but in a way, we are creating our own as well.

When we get "permission" to cross those lines it almost feels wrong, I think. Like, imagine you were in a store and then someone came in and said, "Ok-- just take anything you want-- shove it in your pockets, and take it-- it's okay you won't get in trouble, you won't get arrested--I promise you." I know that I'd kinda stand there, thinking, "What the %#@&#!???" And I probably wouldn't start taking things right away because it wouldn't seem right.

Maybe start out by telling him that you are struggling with this first email. Just go with your in-the-moment feelings. Sometimes that helps.