It's great that you are working so hard on that. I don't know that you have to give up your symptom until you are ready though. I had one that I'd had since I was 2-3 years old, a daily thing and it finally just kind of wandered off on its own, unattended when I was 54-55 or so. But all through therapy it was "useful" and meaningful and helped me in some ways, etc. So, if you cut, you cut. Whether you have moved beyond it, let "it" decide from the inside out rather than just having a discussion of it. It may not just have the meaning of your being "sick" and in control, etc. I don't think we are that "simple" in any aspect that we can come to understand something and then, that's it. It is part of your whole story and needs to be incorporated too, not just "dropped" like a bad, unwanted habit.