Im starting to sink more and more into a depression from nightmares and flashbacks of childhood trauma. I am completely alone with nothijg to turn to. I feel worthless, lonely, and miserable. I want to help my self desensitize myself from all of the memories and emotions i am feeling. Therefore i want to do some self administered EMDR. Ive seen many youtube videos on it but have no idea what to do with it. For example, when following the object on the screen am i supposed to also focus on the trauma or am i supposed to recall the trauma afterward? Please give me some guidance, i cannot afford a therapist so do not direct me to that. Please help me desensitize myself, im becoming more and more depressed and drained. :,(