I know. I've gotten over that phase I guess. I'm not as bad now as I was before when I was really having a breakdown. That was scary and terrible.. truly traumatizing. My ex and his mother threw me out of their house via police once, got me locked in the hospital and he fell asleep instead of coming to get me out of there where i had no cell phone signal. He told me he'd come and get me.. and then I had to get someone else to.

but that's over now. i dont even know how ive brought myself to forgive him.

i got in touch with my youth worker, or rather she got in touch with me. I explained to her what was going on and she's going to talk to the children's aid worker herself as she's worked with me since i was 12 years old so she has a very extensive background with me. With her I kinda feel like I have someone in my corner, and im using that to deal with the reoccurring feelings of being overwhelmed.