Saw my T and pdoc. T was really encouraging and supportive. He believes I am in a mixed state and need meds to bring me down. Pdoc was amazingly supportive too. He wants me to take 10mg of Zyprexa for the next two nights to try to get some sleep and then email him on Friday to let him know how I am going. If I worsen he wants me IP but I am hoping to avoid that. I see him again next Tuesday and he wants me to start Sodium Valporate in conjunction with Lithium as research shows that combined they work well for mixed states. I am open to this.

Overall I am feeling like I am spinning out of control with agitation, racing thoughts, irritability, impatience and suicidal thoughts; but I am hoping the med changes will calm me down back to stable before things get worse. How I feel now is similar to how I felt before I had a manic psychotic break late last year. That scares me. I told my T and pdoc this which is part of the reason they are being so vigilant. I am so thankful for the great treatment I am receiving. It gives me a slither of hope.