For me it's about starting to use the left side of my brain a little more ( pre- frontal cortex ). I basically lived my whole life in emotional turmoil. I could not control my feelings. I could never focus or concentrate on reality or what was right in front of me. Always living in the past. Never tried to understand how the other person felt , or tried to imagine what they were going thru. Always angry about how I was treated. Did I ever consider how I was treating others ?

I was the center of the universe. Always right. Always self justified.
Once I was able to focus on the now , stop always living in the past and stop being the VICTIM all the time , I started to finally be able to control my emotions ( for the most part). I feel MATURE now. I feel more empowered. I just got sick and tired of having my emotions rule and destroy my life.
Mentalization has to be practiced every day. It takes a lot of concentration.
But it sure as hell is worth it. I've been at the edge of the cliff MANY times.
I'm learning to step back.